florida in 97 easy steps
Thursday, Mar. 25, 2004 - 11:05 p.m.
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1. Printed e-tickets. 2. Packed for two. Moved my manicure set from my purse (what I�d be carrying onto the plane) to my would-be-checked-luggage in case anyone thought I was going to try and hijack a plane with my nail file. 3. Jokingly told a friend that NOT having my manicure set with me was sure to leave me with a damaged nail that I�d be unable to fix until my arrival in Florida. 4. Tried to sleep even though I was super excited to go to Florida. 5. Got up, showered, and packed the items I was unable to pack the night before because I needed to use them in the morning (e.g. make-up, contact solution, toothpaste, etc.) 6. Ate lunch. 7. Made a special stop at school so the way-too-nervous-about-everything husband could drop of his external/backup hard drive to make sure he�d have his �stuff� in the event that our house blew up while we were gone. 8. Headed to the airport. 9. Tried to check our bodies and our luggage in via airport kiosk thingy. 10. Was told by airport kiosk thingy that our particular registration needed to be handled by an agent. 11. Had our luggage (one bag for two people for four days, thank you very much) checked and headed upstairs to our gate. 12. Chipped the nail on the middle finger of my right hand. 13. Went through security�or rather, TRIED to go through. Justin got through just fine but me, even without jewelry and sunglass set off the alarm again and was pulled to the side for one-on-one fondling. 14. Got molested for 10 minutes by a middle-aged woman with a metal detecting wand - molestation included such highlights as having my breasts and vagina touched by a stranger.
15. Finally got to sit next to the husband at our assigned gate. 16. Heard the announcement that it was time to begin boarding and proceeded to get in line. 17. Tried to get on the plane. 18. Noticed that the clerky woman couldn�t get our e-tickets to scan properly and waited a few extra minutes for her to input them manually. 19. Flew from Duluth to Minneapolis �took about an hour. 20. Landed in Minneapolis and had an hour to wait for our next flight. 21. Chipped the thumbnail on my left hand. 22. Tried to check in for our flight from Minneapolis to Detroit�were told that, �according to our computer, you�re still in Duluth�let me see what I can do...� 23. Got on the plane but was unable to sit next to my husband. 24. Landed in Detroit and had an hour to wait for our next flight but we wanted to check in early this time. 25. Check-in went fine but we were told that seats D5 and D6 (you know, the seats that were PRINTED ON OUR E-TICKETS!!) were not our seats�our seats were F3 and J1. 26. Flew from Detroit to West Palm Beach with my husband sitting several rows behind me. 27. Arrived in West Palm Beach around midnight and was greeted by Tim (the composer guy). 28. Waited for what seemed like forever to get our luggage. 29. Tim drove us to our hotel (Tim does not have air conditioning in his car) and we were dropped off. 30. Wanted to do nothing but sleep but had to do some unpacking/repacking since I was going to be spending the next night not at the hotel. I had to make sure I left all of the husband�s stuff in the hotel and that I had everything I needed for an overnight trip. 31. Unpacked the small bag that had my manicure set�reached in to get the manicure set�found my razor (not my intention) and proceeded to shave off part of my nail and PART OF MY FINGER. 32. Bled a lot. 33. Realized I hadn�t packed band-aids. 34. Wrapped my profusely bleeding finger with lots of cheap hotel facial tissues. 35. Realized I didn�t have tape to hold it in place. 36. Realized that I�m like MacGyver and used one of my hair accessory thingies to secure said wad of facial tissue. 37. Unwrapped one of the styrofoam cups next to the coffee maker and used the plastic to cover my damaged finger. 38. Discovered new ways to remove my contacts, wash my face, and brush my teeth.
39. Set the alarm clock for 9:00am. 40. Went to sleep. 41. Woke up at 9:47am because alarm didn�t go off. 42. Stayed in bed while husband showered. 43. Told house keeping to �GO AWAY!� 44. Got ready to take a shower. 45. Started shower and realized that the water pressure was shitty. 46. Rinsed the shampoo and conditioner out of my hair by being on all fours and using the tub spouty thingy. 47. Got ready. 48. Made husband call friend to tell her she could come pick me up at any time. 49. Said �goodbye� to husband who left with Tim. 50. Realized that I wouldn�t see my husband until the next night and got very sad. 51. Realized that it would only be the 3rd time we�d been apart overnight since we began cohabitating and that it was therefore perfectly ok to feel sad about it. 52. Finished getting ready and made sure I was all packed and ready to go. 53. Started watching a movie on TV while waiting for friend. 54. Friend arrived. 55. Fell in love with her spunky new haircut � it looked (and I�m sure still looks even though I can�t see it anymore) FABULOUS! 56. Got into friend�s vehicle and discovered a cute little bag decorated with Florida-themed stickers on my seat and inside was a HAND MADE BY HER JUST FOR ME bracelet � and it�s BROWN and it TOTALLY MATCHED MY OUTFIT. Yes, she is THAT good! :-) 57. Realized we didn�t know where we were going but that it was ok because we really had no place to be. 58. Parked in �downtown� area and walked past some cool-lookin� stores before finding a nice little Italian restaurant with outdoor seating which was good because I was STARVING having not eaten anything since half of a really shitty bagel in Detroit. 59. Shopped in the aforementioned stores. 60. Drove around some more and went to a bead store where I learned that beads are CRAZY! So many types � I felt like I was on another planet. Oh, and did you know that it could cost hundreds of dollars for ONE bead? I didn�t either! 61. Headed down to friend�s house where I got to meet (for the first time) her husband and children. 62. I was then taken to a park thingy where I got to see a REAL LIVE ALLIGATOR IN THE WILD! I even got to see it eat a fish! How cool was that? She and/or I will post pictures of that later. 63. Went to Swig and had martinis with names like Key Lime Pie (complete with a glass that was rimmed with graham cracker crumbs), Little Red Corvette, and Purple Rain�some food-food and a tasty little dessert known as Godiva White Chocolate Cr�me Brule. 64. Went back to friend�s house and just hung out and talked until it was time for bed. 65. Slept. 66. Woke up. 67. HUNG OUT WITH MY BEST FRIEND ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL DAY!!!!!! 68. Decided to print the e-tickets for the return trip. 69. Was told that my reservation was not able to be self-printed and that I would need to see an agent. 70. Got REALLY pissed off. 71. Left for the concert, dropped my stuff off at the hotel, and went to Dunkin� Doughnuts (my first) for a little snack and some soda before we had to meet up with my husband. 72. GOT TO SEE AND TOUCH MY HUSBAND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 31.5 HOURS!! :-) 73. Went to the lecture/concert and met some of Justin�s friends that he hadn�t seen since doctoral school. 74. Said �good night� to everyone and got into friend�s truck where my husband shared such stories as, �They took me to an �all you can eat� sushi bar where I ate my age in sushi � that�s right, THIRTY-TWO PIECES!!!� 75. Friend dropped us off at the hotel where we hugged and thanked and got sad because we don�t know when we�ll see each other next. 76. Packed, slept, woke up, got ready, �enjoyed� a free continental breakfast, and waited for Tim to pick us up/check us out of the hotel. 77. Went to campus where Justin had two 20-minute talky thingies to do. 78. Tried one last time to print e-tickets. 79. Got REALLY pissed off again. 80. Went to lunch with Justin�s old friends and the new friend (Tim) that we made while we were there. 81. Said our goodbyes and had one of Justin�s old friends drop us off at the airport. 82. Went up to the main ticket counter and explained that we had tried to print our own tickets but were told that an agent had to do it for is. 83. Agent Man pulls us up in the computer and, in a confused tone said, �Did you come here from somewhere?� To which we explained that we were from Duluth and we unable to print the tickets that would get us home. 84. Agent Man informed us that, �according the computer, you never left Duluth so your reservation was canceled.� 85. (Insert sinking feelings in my stomach and flashes of getting on a 2am flight to Houston for a 9-hour layover before getting home.) 86. Agent Man clicked a few buttons, asked for our luggage, and handed us REAL tickets. 87. Not a single problem from PBI to DLH. 88. Got in to Duluth and realized that I was back in 24 degree weather and NOT the 84 degrees I had grown accustomed to while visiting Florida. 89. Cried in the car because I hate it here. 90. Husband tried to cheer me up by saying, �C�mon! It�s cold and we have no friends here � what�s not to like?� 91. Arrived at home and did things like get the mail and check in with the people I�m supposed to check in with. 92. Had a little snack (as if the 27 mini bags of mini pretzels and 12-pack of ginger ale I had on the various flights wasn�t enough). 93. Went to bed. 94. Woke up depressed and cold and missing Florida and my friend. 95. Wished I could have stayed. 96. Glad I got to go if only for a brief stay. 97. Felt even more desperate to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE And that, my friends, is basically a play-by-play of our free trip to Florida... P.S. e-tickets are e-vil!!! |