a trip not to be repeated - ever
Saturday, May. 29, 2004 - 8:54 p.m.
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Chances are that if you�re reading this slice that you probably read the previous one as well so you know that the husband and I were recently (and by �recently� I mean that we got home last night around 9:45pm CST) on a little trip. I�ll give you a detailed, but not too detailed, summary of the trip now and will have to save the pictures for a separate slice as they are still being sorted by the husband. Sunday, May 23rd Morning: Left Duluth, MN Afternoon: Still driving through nothing Evening: Arrive in Mitchell, SD and stay over Monday, May 24th Morning: The World�s ONLY Corn Palace and The Enchanted World Doll Museum Afternoon: Get the fuck out of Mitchell, SD, stop at Wall Drug, 3 minutes later wonder why, and take the scenic drive/tour of The Badlands Evening: Arrive in Rapid City, SD and stay over Tuesday, May 25th Morning: Reptile Gardens and Mount Rushmore Afternoon: Black Hills National Forest, Beautiful Rushmore Cave, and The Cosmos Mystery Area Evening: Stay over in Rapid City, SD Wednesday, May 26th Morning: The Journey Museum (no, not the band) Afternoon: Bear Country U.S.A. and Sitting Bull Crystal Caverns Evening: Stay over in Rapid City, SD Thursday, May 27th Morning: Head to Mandan, ND Afternoon: Still driving through nothing Evening: Stay over in Mandan, ND Friday, May 28th Morning: Ft. Abraham Lincoln and the On-A-Slant Village of the Mandan Afternoon: Driving home through nothing�we�re now somewhere around Bismarck, ND Evening: Arrive in Duluth and stay over I�m not sure how many of you take advantage of cheeselinks or Kiki�s blog in particular, but she hit the nail on the head with her description of the Dakotas in her May 27th entry: Throughout our trip Justin was constant asking a similar question: �What�d the white man take this for? And after they did, they didn�t even DO anything with it!� Seriously, you have no idea how much NOTHING is in the Dakotas. You drive for MILES between �towns� and I put that in quotes on purpose because out there �town� means a sign and two buildings � three if you�re lucky. We were on �major roads� and in the �major cities� and it was STILL nothing � I�ve never experienced so much nothingness and that�s saying a lot coming from me because I live in northern Minnesota and grew up in a town with approximately 300 people in it. In the Dakotas a town with 300 people is a fucking metropolis. Other random things from the trip include, but are not limited to: *You know that song that has the line, �I want a man with a slow hand, I want a lover with an easy touch�? What�s with that? Last time I checked, a woman wants a man with a strong hand that moves rapidly back and forth over certain areas. *Why did a Super 8 we drove by have a sign out front that read, �WE GO THE EXXXTRA MILE FOR SERVICE WITH A SMILE�? *Why did a garagey/mechanicy type place have multiple billboards advertising that they also offer �toe service�? *And WHY does everything in South Dakota have 9 billion billboard advertising it? If you were 5 miles from your destination you would see literally scores of billboards saying things like �right this way� or �1000 ft� or even �you�re here� which was conveniently right next to the establishment�s sign. *Why do so many restaurants in the Dakotas simply leave an entire roll of paper towels on your table in lieu of napkins? Reeeeeal classy. *Why is EVERY food item in the Dakotas made and/or served with ranch dressing? In one restaurant you can have your pizza made with ranch dressing instead of pizza sauce! Hell, even appetizers such as mozzarella sticks came with the stuff�and when you substitute marinara sauce (like any civilized person would) it is served COLD?!? The moral of this story is, if you�ve seen the Dakotas either on TV or in photographs you�ve seen all there is to see so there is NO NEED TO GO THERE � EVER... |